Refinement – My Word of the Year!

I take each year quite seriously. I plan, design and execute the years in a way that will make me a better person in some way.

This year feels as if it is the beginning to an end.

The grand finale to a long decade journey of losing myself and finding myself. And this post is actually just for me…. A documentation you might say that I can look back on to see…. That I made it!

My prior posts have adequately explained former situations so I won’t go into much detail. This post is more like a proclamation of what moving forward looks like to me.

If you ever saw the movie Dressmaker (free with Amazon Prime) then you most likely recognize the photo. The lead in the movie has grown up in this town and they were cruel to her. She goes back to take care of her mother while she is in search for who she really is.

In short, she finds out the truth… and on her way out of town… she lights it on fire and burns it to the ground.

She has essentially refined her past through fire. Cleaned up all the loose ends and found her true self.

I loved the movie.

No I am not going to lite things in my world on literal fire. But I am going to figuratively use this process.

The definition of Refinement is:

The process of removing impurities

or unwanted elements from a substance


The process of removing impurities or unwanted elements from a substance

Let’s break this down to fit my life…

‘Substance’ is me. My life is the substance that needs to be refined.

‘Impurities and unwanted elements’ are the things that occur around me or to me that are unhealthy for me or unnecessary to reach my goals in any way.

‘Process of removing’ will be how I clean up my life and keep it on the correct path to come.

What’s this all mean?

It’s quite simple: You do you, and I’ll do me!

I am removing everything in my life on how other’s think I should be living my life and taking the steering wheel back. I am tired of holding myself back so as I don’t upset someone else. I’m tired of people telling me they can’t be like me when I have never asked them to be! Only to have them heap their shame on me months later because they aren’t, get this… Like me! I am tired of carrying words that hurt me around as if I am supposed to own them!

I won’t allow other’s shame to be put on me in the form of comments on what I should or shouldn’t be doing. When in reality, I have lived the last few years listening to people make excuses after excuses about the way they live and how there is no way out for them and then heap shame on me when they see me accomplish the start of my dreams.. I am done holding ‘me’ back.

Me working my ass off is not a bad thing. It’s me being me!

I am far from perfect, but I continue to strive to be a better person! Every day!

This is my life. No one else can have this life. But me…. if you make a comment to me about how I do things as if it’s a bad thing and not something you can achieve, be prepared for it to be hit right back into your ballpark. Let me…. be me!

I look at this way.. I can be this person:

Or I can choose to be happy.

I can choose to laugh.

I can choose to dance.

I can choose to be the best version of me out there.

I can choose to constantly be learning new things.

I can choose JOY!

I can choose not to care what people think and hop on a scooter and live the only life I have. In my true authentic way.

I need a scooter…

and red tennis shoes..

but I have something to strive for here!

Look at her smile!

No more dumping shame on me.

How about we each work on being the best version of us we can be. And learn to support each other during the process?

You know. The version of you that is authentic and nothing like anyone else! Don’t say your in unless you are willing to do the hard work! I’m not even joking!

Crazy sounding, I know. So how about this:

You do you and I’ll do me!


Published by thebettencourts

Jesus lover. Wife. Mother. Writer. Homesteader. Permaculturist. Do'er of the odd things as I take you on my daily journey's of what I find beautiful. If you are reading this... I am treating you as a dear friend. Or one of our beautiful daughters. Life is worth fighting for and excelling in. Never give up!

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